Such Dissatisfaction

I'm becoming such an angry person. I'm not sure who or what is the culprit. There are so many underlying problems that I have been pushing away for a long time. I don't even know what makes me happy anymore. I find comfort in very little. What I used to look forward to in life has become a mixture of "I don't cares" and "Why does it matter." Succession brings greatness but over time greatness brings failure. I'm not sure what the answer to any of this is, I just hope there is an answer.

They say the first love is the sweetest but the first cut is the deepest. But a wound will never heal if you’re constantly being cut. I’ve come to realize only love can mend a broken heart it’s ironic how the one thing that gives life is also the reason for your pain and despair. When you love someone more than you love yourself that love will eventually turn into hatred. Every day I just want to be numb; numb to everything and everyone because no one really cares about what you’re doing or about who you are so stop trying to impress everyone you come in contact with live for your own satisfaction find fulfillment in your own deeds that’s the only way you can live a sane life. Why share everything with another human being who says they have the right to live my dream with me. Harsh words will help you to embrace your true feelings of a substantial life. To really know how you feel is what I long for. Even though I’m sure it’s not mutual. I will continue to not be bothered by your presence because I know it tortures your soul and it will become inevitable that you will break. When that day comes I will rejoice in complete satisfaction that I caused malice within your own emotion within your self-conscious, your sub-conscious, within your every breath. It will be as if every time you inhale the hold will be tighter, constricting your life and every attribute that encompasses your being. I’m so far gone now to wait would only kill me.